Changing Bad Habits

How to Stop a Bad Habit

Healthy Habits are Good For Everyone.

Habits are neither good nor bad. Some habits help us feel alive and happy, such as the habit that encourages us to take a walk once a day, or the habit of meditating before we go to sleep at night. Other habits can cause us difficulty, such as the habit of getting angry too often, or the habit of eating fatty sugary foods.  Our life experiences are full of habits, and when the life enhancing habits outweigh the destructive habits, we are closer to living a happy fulfilled life.

The first step in changing our habits is to be honest with our selves about what we want to experience in this lifetime. Maybe you enjoy smoking, or sleeping in late, or not exercising. Maybe being angry makes you feel powerful, or being pessimistic and sad makes you feel smugly self important. Maybe that feels good and comforting to you on some level. Maybe, out of habit, you are used to it and can’t imagine what it would be like to be different. Maybe that’s all you want out of life. That’s fine. Just admit it and be at peace.

Or maybe, you want to feel energetic, and happy, and optimistic. Maybe you want to accomplish a certain thing, such as writing a novel, making a good salary, mastering an art form, or being able to volunteer your time for charities. And maybe you don’t know how right now. You don’t know how, because all of your habits up to this point have not been supportive of your intentions.

When changing our life habits, the best way to do it, is not to focus on one individual habit and try to force your self to change. The best way to do it, is to have a vision of what you want to experience, and then take stock of your habits to see if they are directing you towards the actualization of that vision.  While, it’s still not always easy, its much more effective if you are working to change your experience rather than singling out one habit and try to force it out of your consciousness without a proper context to rally your energy to make it happen.  Other wise, it seems like you are simply punishing your self for doing something you seemingly enjoy.

Here are a few examples:

You enjoy smoking.  You find it relaxing and soothing. However, you notice that you are developing chronic phlegm, higher blood pressure, and your heart doesn’t feel as strong as it used to.

Ineffective Option 1: You can try to force your self to stop smoking. And every time you have a cigarette, you say to your self, “I really need to quit doing this thing I enjoy, because it’s bad for me.”  You will probably continue to smoke, while strengthening the idea you are killing your self, by affirming how bad it is for you, thus creating a self fulfilling prophecy.  Why would you do that to your self?

More effective Option 2: Instead of focusing on the act of smoking, you begin to wonder what you’d like your life to be like.

You realize you are a parent, and you’d like to be healthy and happy to give your kids the best role model.  You realize you’d like to live a long time, to see your kids grow up, and you don’t want to be a burden on them when you are old, or have them have to make the decision to take you off the breathing machine that is keeping you alive.

You remember how good it felt, to be able to hike for hours and enjoy picnics without panting or feeling like you can’t breathe.

You know you would save a lot of money, by not buying cigarettes, and by not needing to go to the doctor so often, and you could quit complaining about how you can’t take your wife or husband out to eat because you are broke.

Now every time you smoke you can ask your self, “Is this temporary pleasure worth it?  Or do I really want to be strong, fit, healthy for my self and my family?”  Hopefully, your sense of values are strong enough that you can bear the temporary discomfort of giving up smoking, for the greater good.  Can you go beyond your own immediate dependency?  Can you expand your consciousness to take into consideration how this one simple act you repeat often is contributing in a major way to your future life circumstance and the life circumstances of those around you?

This could be applied to any health promoting habit from diet, to dependency, to exercise. Have a reason to start a good habit, and the bad habit will fall away easier.  Focus on living, not punishing your self.

Spiritually Speaking…

Spiritually speaking, maybe you have the habit of over eating, sleeping in late, staying up to late, and or watching too much TV.  All of these can get in the way of an effective meditation practice.

Meditating in a chair is just fine. Keep your back straight and your head up!

Overeating can tax your bodies vital forces and make you dull and lethargic.  Effective meditation occurs when we are energized and alert, yet relaxed into the process.

Staying up or sleeping too late, can interfere with the bodies chemistry and make us confused and interfere with our ability to concentrate. Meditation works well, when we are able to sit still, and almost effortlessly flow our attention to our chosen object of meditation, be it God, Light, Love, or Self Knowledge.

Too much Television or Internet surfing or too much of any kind of entertainment (including excessive socialization and talking) fills our consciousness up with useless images and ideas, which may take longer to digest and process. When we sit to meditate, depending on how much stuff we have on our minds (based on how much stuff we mentally ingested), can influence how long it takes to experience a therapeutic meditative state.  Once the ripples on the surface have stilled, then we can see the light in the water. All that entertainment and over thinking, can create choppy waters, and it’s all based on how much we have to process, how much we’ve ingested mentally.

Again, self honesty is helpful.

Do you really want to understand what it means to be enlightened, spiritually speaking?  Do you really want to know the peace that passeth understanding?  Or do you just like the idea of being a spiritual person? If you like the idea, then you will go through the motions of trying to meditate every day, but you won’t address the habits that get in the way of having an effective meditation practice.

Now, look at your life.  You decide you do want to be at peace.  You do want to know what you are, beyond name and form, and you do want to understand what all of those spiritual masters have realized.  Then compare your habits. Don’t stop the habit, because you know it’s bad for you. Stop it because it’s not giving you the support you need to experience what you want. Then consider what habits (probably the opposite of what you are already doing) will contribute to what you want to experience.

Remember habits are just habits. They are as strong as you make them, by indulging in them, and repeating them. If you have trouble starting good habits, it’s because you haven’t been practicing, or haven’t found the proper motivation that really inspires you. Take your time.  Be honest with your self, and choose what you want. Then choose the habits that support it, until they are as natural as the bad habits once were.

Then you may find, that the desire to smoke is just a memory.  The craving to watch television falls away, and you’d prefer to go for a walk, because you’ve experienced the enjoyment, the strength that walking gives to your body, and how it calms your mind.  You go to sleep earlier and wake up earlier to meditate, and you see that you are happier throughout the day, and think more clearly, and you feel like you are a part of something larger than your self.  Now that you have had the experience, you actively choose the habits that support your ideal.  You are doing this all of the time anyway, so why not claim your life, and choose to use your habits positively, rather than let them rule you.

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