Why Seeing the Best in Others and Expecting the Best of All Possible Outcomes Changes Your Life

We are creatures of habit. Our choices are habitual.  Our thoughts arise and fall by habit. The people we choose to socialize with is based on habit. The foods we eat, the moods we feel, the health we have, is all, 97% of the time, based on habit.

All of these habits, create our life experience, and they reveal the expansiveness (or smallness) of our conscious awareness.  How is that so? Well, our consciousness awareness is either free to make choices based on the reality of the moment, or it is confined to repeat conditioned behaviors, we have either been taught, or we allowed to persist by not exploring other options.  The more freedom you have in the moment, the larger your conscious awareness.  The less freedom you have, to choose something other than a habitual reaction, the smaller your conscious awareness.

Often times, what we expect from other people or situations, does not arise from anything more than our habitual thoughts about those people and situations.

I’m sure most of you have heard this idea before, and have tried to change your life experience by changing your thoughts about your self, others and situations, and have been frustrated to find that it didn’t work very well.  Then you lost sight of the truth, that your experience is a clear reflection of how identified you are with a particular way of being, and you fell back into your habitual consciousness, and experienced the same things again.

The problem was not the application of the principle, that your expectations color your experiences, it was that you didn’t understand how much effort you have put into getting where you are now, and you underestimated what was required to make the change.

When you are prone to identifying with depression, anger, anxiety, poor finances, poor health, or any other negative attribute, that state feels natural and easy. When you try to think positively, or feel that you can take care of your self financially, or that your health can be strong and vital, it may feel like a “crock of crap”.  You don’t believe it.  Because up to this point, your experiences have definitely shown you that the “reality” is that you are unhealthy, unhappy, and prone to unenjoyable relationships.   That is because you have allowed your self the habit of experiencing that particular reality over, and over, and over, and over again, so much so that it feels fixed and stuck, and not matter what you try to do it never changes.  The thought that it can never change is just testimony to how often you have engaged in that habit.

There is a lot of effort, time and force behind habits that seem impossible to change.  That is like energy.  Just as in science, to stop an object from moving forward, you have to apply an equal and opposite amount of energy just to stop it!  Now to get it rolling in the other direction, you have to add even more force!

What is a good place to start to change your life, now that you know the mechanics of your situation?  The best place to start is to start seeing the best in others.  See beyond the personality you are used to seeing, and wish and feel for everyone, that they are happy, fulfilled, and self aware. You can only truly experience happiness in and with others, if you have nurtured the ability to experience that within your self. You can only feel fulfilled in and with others, if you have cultivated that feeling within your self.  By seeing self awareness in others, you are seeing that they too have the ability to expand their consciousness and not act out of habit, but out of freedom in the present moment. Then you increase that ability within your self.

It may be that circumstances change very little in the beginning of this practice, but that is to be expected, as you have just, only now, decided to direct your energy in a different direction, and so it will take time and consistency to continue building more momentum and energy in this new direction, until a shift occurs, when your present efforts have equaled and then overcome the habits of your past.  Then you build on the positive momentum and your life begins to fall into place as you have wanted it to for so long. In this way, you realize your freedom, that you are a being, not of circumstance, but of your own creation. And that is a very liberating thought indeed.

You want certain areas of your life to be different?  Admit how you have thought about those areas before.  When it comes to work, service, finances or health, really take a moment to admit what your attitude has been towards those areas.  Knowing that is what your past habits (attitudes, thoughts, choices, actions) have created, now decide what you would really like to experience.  And start seeing the best of all possible outcomes in every area of your life.  No matter how fake it feels.  Continue seeing and feeling the best of all possible outcomes, until the best of all possible outcomes feels as real as the negativity used to be.  Then you will find that your pessimism or negativity actually feels fake and silly.

See the best possible outcomes for other people first, if that is easier. The more you do this, the more you change your inner view of your self, because once again, you cannot see it for someone else unless it’s possible in you first.

Begin daily in your meditation, spend 5 minutes every day, doing your best to see and feel the best possible out come for others.  Pay attention during your daily life, and if someone experiences good fortune, acknowledge it, and feel good for them.  If someone is experiencing frustration or something troubling, look beyond that habit (that you both have), and see a timely and fulfilling resolution to the experience.  The more time and attention you put to this practice, the stronger it becomes, and then your energy is auspicious, fulfilling and illuminating.

This is an often overlooked process, that is one of the main pillars to your happiness and well being.

Another important pillar of change, is acting differently based on your different attitudes and thoughts.  You act the way you do, because of how you think.  Support the change of attitude and your new change in thinking and how you see the world, by acting as if those thoughts were true for you. Then your actions support your inner change, and your inner change will also support your actions.

Example 1 :  By feeling and thinking I am healthy and happy and vibrantly alive, you would also go out for a job or do some yoga and enjoy it, because that is what people who feel that way do.

Example 2: By feeling and thinking I have good healthy relationships, you will ignore people who are pessimistic and tiresome, yet be compassionate, as you now know that is just your habit, and you will find circles that are uplifting and positive and working for the good of humanity, because that is what healthy minded people do.

Example 3: By thinking and feeling that you are spiritually awake and aware, you will meditate every day, working to feel a sense of joy and surrender as you practice, and you will do your best to live the loving principles of your chosen spiritual path, as that is what a spiritually aware and awake person does.

Example 4: By thinking and feeling that you have good financial health, you will avoid wasting money on frivolous things, you will happily engage in work that pays your bills, and you will save a portion of your income, feeling good about your ability to manage money well, because that is what a financially healthy person does.

When you think about doing these things, you may not initially like the idea of what is required, because that is your habit.  It’s just your habit.  Are you your habit?  Do you just want to be a ball of habits, cravings and unfulfilled desires?  Or do you want to have freedom and a life you can feel good about?

I know you have the potential to change. I see you joyfully undertaking the challenge to be what is best for you and the world. It is a challenge, and one that is quite fulfilling once begun.

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