Reality Vs. Your Story

A Course in Tranquility – Lesson 7 of 14 – Reality Vs. Your Story

As proclaimed by a book called Vasistha’s Yoga, it is said that there are countless universes or realities floating on a sun beam, or in a rock, or in a speck of dust on the air. The sage Vasistha also says that our life span is only the blink of an eye to other beings which we are not aware. According to physics there is the potential that existing simultaneously in our very body are untold worlds, but in a different dimension or plane of existence. Knowing this, we see that what we consider to be reality, is really only a point of view we adopt to relate to the world.

Take a moment to think of the countless ideologies across the world.  You can be Hindu, Christian, Democrat, Republican, Zen, Orthodox Jewish, Yuppie, Hippie, a scientist, a nerd, an athlete, a jerk, a nice person, a saint, a sinner, rich, poor, Southern, Northern, a musician, a combination of two or more, and the list goes on. Each person that identifies with a particular ideology will identify with it as though it is completely correct. They are each in their own reality, and relate to the world through that lens. Think of all the arguments, wars, and hurt feelings that have been caused, because we have thought our point of view was the correct one.

Now obviously there has to be some kind of objective way of determining who’s correct, right? No.  That’s not right. Your mind wants you to think that, because the mind likes to be right and have a point to defend, so it can feel superior. The point of being tranquil and enlightened is not to defend a point.  It is to “Live a natural and spontaneous life contentedly.” Remember that?  Another quote from Good ‘Ol Vasistha. So, that means that rather than building up an idea in your mind of who you are and what you stand for, you instead, decide that you will be fully present in every moment and respond appropriately to each situation as it arises, free of attachment to ideologies or what you think is right.

This is not easy, and this is why the world has as many religions as it does. Religion is good for keeping people out of trouble. It creates a set of laws and guidelines that if followed, may lead to an enlightened life, and if properly understood, will at least lead to a harmonious society that is stable and supportive. In the beginning we identify with a moral code, religion or set of principles to get us moving forward on a positive path, that keeps us from hurting our selves or others. We have to remember these are very useful training wheels.

Enlightened people usually live harmoniously with the world, and so killing, stealing and coveting is what they avoid naturally. They are enlightened and know what a world of hurt the retribution from those activities can cause, and so they avoid them. Enlightened people, through experience, know that spending time daily communing with the divine presence is a fount of joy and inspiration. No one has to tell them they have to do it, because they are wise enough and experienced enough to know that true joy only comes from having no investment in a transient world, but by building their joy on the immortal nature of the spirit. It’s not a question of religion or law for them, it’s based on experience.

The point of this discussion is to get you to understand that each of us identifies with a chosen point of view. Some of those points of view are often complex and contradictory. However, it may be that at this time, for you to get the most out of life, you have to identify with a point of view, or a particular religion, or idea of who you are.  If that is the reality of your situation, accept it and move on. If you have found that holding certain points of view only get you in trouble or create strife in your life and relationships, you may need to consider that it’s not really worth it to identify with that idea. Some good examples include:

“My spouse should enjoy spending time with my parents.”

“I should be appreciated for what I do.”

“I should be able to eat a gallon of ice cream every day and not get sick.”

“The house should be clean all the time.”

“People should be nicer to each other.”

“No one should eat meat.”

“If people believed exactly as I do the world would be great.”

These are statements that would be nice if they were true.  You might like things to be a certain way, but if your reality says otherwise, remember, arguing with reality doesn’t work. Reality may very well be showing you, your spouse doesn’t like your parents, or that no one really cares if you are appreciated, or that the house is often messy, and some people love bacon and ribs. If so, drop these false ideas that no longer serve you and move on. Holding ideas that would be nice if they were true, but do not line up with reality is a sure way to get your self in an unhappy space. Remember, we are endeavoring to be tranquil and happy for no reason! Why? Because then no reason can take away our happiness.

What Does a Life in Reality Look Like?

When you arrive home from a hard days work, you see the sink filled with dishes, and the yard overgrown and a wreck. Immediately you think, “Dale has been home all day! Why is this place a mess?!” Then you fume and create a story of how Dale should’ve cleaned up these messes, which eventually leads to an argument and hurt feelings.

If you were in reality and didn’t allow your mind to engage, you would’ve walked into this situation, seen the dishes, and realized. “The dishes needed cleaning.” Then, you would’ve cleaned the dishes, because that was appropriate. No need for a story or ruffling of feathers. Drying the last dish, you would look out the window and see the lawn needs mowing. Walking out to the shed, you would start the lawn mower and complete the task. Then you would notice you need a bath. After taking your bath, you yawn and see your favorite spiritual book beside your bed. Taking up the book, you would read a page or two before falling to sleep happily beside your beloved Dale.  The Sun rises, and you begin again, meditating, showering, eating a nice breakfast (and cleaning up the dishes) before going to work.

In this example, you see that everything you need to know, in regards to how to act and what to do is provided. No need to think about it. Just pay attention to what is before you and what is appropriate. Your stories don’t help. To think that, “I am a hard worker. My family should respect me by treating me better.” That is a story. You made it up. There is no reality to it. And so you see, when you are not in reality, you can invent a mess of problems.

An Experience with My Father

My parents live on a river, and many of the homes on their road are summer homes. One day, a large dump truck filled with melon sized rocks decided to turn around in the next door neighbor’s driveway. It turned out that the drive way had been hollowed out underneath by an underground stream. When the truck backed into the driveway, the concrete collapsed under the extreme weight. The rocks poured out all over the drive and filled the hole. A tow truck came and removed the truck, but the gravel remained.

I was sitting on my bed listening to music and enjoying the summer breeze through my windows. My dad, as he was apt to do when I was enjoying myself, called for me to give him a hand. I thought, “Now what! I’ve already mowed the grass and trimmed the lawn! He’s probably going to tell me what I messed up this time.” As I fumed out the door, preparing for a lecture on the proper way to weed-eat, I saw him in the neighbor’s driveway tossing large rocks into a wheelbarrow.

“What are you doing,” I asked, wondering why he was moving rocks out of the hole, when, in my mind, it was clearly the neighbor’s responsibility, since it was their driveway.

“Take that wheelbarrow down to the river and dump it.” He said.

“Why are you doing this?” I asked, making sure he understood that I thought this was a stupid idea.

“It needs done.” Was all he said.

For some reason, my discontentment melted away at this. I thought to myself “he’s right.” There’s a job that needs doing. For half a beautiful summer afternoon my father and I loaded up one wheelbarrow after another of large granite rocks and cleared out our neighbor’s driveway. I could have wasted the day desiring to be back in my cool room listening to my favorite music, but I didn’t. A sense of ease and purpose washed over me, and tossing granite out of a hole became a moment that was completely full, lacking in nothing.

It was that experience that showed me, that thinking someone else should be doing the work that is clearly before us is the real waste of time and energy.

Exercise #1

The day after you read this lesson, decide that you are going to your best to be aware and alert in regards to reality. This is an extension of “Being Present Without Judgment” from the last lesson.

#1) Declare to your self once an hour, beginning as soon as you wake up. “I am going to be aware of all the “shoulds” in my life and let them go. I am going to love Reality in whatever form it takes!”

#2) As you go into your day, watch your mind.

Notice how on your drive to work, you enter a traffic jam, and you say, “Ahhh! I should be at work by 9! This traffic jam should not be happening!” Well, what’s the reality?  It is happening isn’t? Are you going to get to work by 9.  No. Can you help it. No. So sit in traffic. What part of the stress created by arguing with reality do you enjoy? Is it really worth it?

#3) As you move through your day, watch your mind.

Notice how you start to get sleepy around 2 PM. Then you say, “I got plenty of sleep last night. I shouldn’t be tired.” Oh no? Well what is reality telling you? Then you start thinking of all the illnesses you might have because you are tired. All of the sudden you are creating a new reality, one with an illness in it, instead of just admitting. “Hey, I’m sleepy. I wish I wasn’t, but I can’t argue with reality!” Then do your best as you complete your day.

#4) As you conclude your day, watch your mind.

Notice, when you come home from working hard you have a sense of entitlement about having time to your self.

Your mind says…“Boy, I’ve been working hard.  I can’t wait to get comfy and meditate!”

Then you walk in the door and all of the sudden, your spouse wants to know why certain bills aren’t paid, or how you forgot that friends were coming for dinner, or why you aren’t more affectionate and understanding and appreciative.

Your mind says…“What is going on?  I shouldn’t have to deal with this, doesn’t he understand that I’ve had a busy day? I shouldn’t have to deal with this!”

You don’t have to deal with it. That is true. You can blow your loved one off. But that has its own consequences. Reality is in your face, in the form of your spouse, and “should” does not play a role. You were identified with your false prediction of what the evening was going to be like, rather than waiting to see what the reality is.  Remember, reality always wins.  Even if you try to ignore it, it still wins.

#4) Repeat this exercise one day a week.  As you get better, start adding a day until you are able to do it for a full seven days in a row.  Then take note of how much more pleasant your life becomes.

Consequences!

Oh my, what a scary word! CONSEQUENCES! There it is again. Most people don’t like this word. It reminds them of being punished as a child or something similar. It makes them feel like they are limited and bound. What they don’t realize is that just as there are laws of nature, there are laws that extend throughout all of creation and through all experience.

Once you can make peace with consequences you are in a much better place in the world. Why? Because then you can make fairly sound decisions after weighing the consequences of your results. Then you don’t have to complain, either out loud or mentally, about the results of your actions. You knew the possibility of certain results occurring.

Example:

A man once said that 9 out 10 businesses fail. When another man heard this, he said to himself, “Ok, so I am committing to starting 10 businesses, knowing that at least one is probably going to work.” Many of his businesses failed, but then one caught on and now he’s working well and enjoying the fruits of his labor.

Another man heard the remark, “9 out 10 businesses fail”, and decided not to start any business, because of the potential for failure. He also went on to complain about how it was impossible to start a business.

Another man heard the same remark and tried three times, each business failing, but then gave up for fear that the fourth would as well. He decided that all the failure ruined his bank account and health.

Which one of these men stayed in reality?

Take note of all the things you attempt in your life, very well aware of the possibility of failure and success.  Then be aware of how you pull your hair out and moan, when the failure possibility kicks in. You knew it was possible to fail, so why are you surprised?

Do you use light bulbs? Well, guess how many trials it took to get the first light bulb to work correctly? Estimates state that Thomas Edison went through around 10,000 trials to get the light bulb to work.  Was it worth it?

This may seem harsh, but the reality is, failure is a possibility in all circumstances, as is success. In Yogic teachings, it states that the yogi is not elated with success or failure, but sees all circumstances as an expression of the divine. When you can give your self permission to live like that, the tranquility you so long for, that you vaguely remember from way back when the world was young, when you weren’t identified with a limited personality who has to win all time, that tranquility will come rushing back to you.

This is a very different way to live than what the people of the world usually teach us from birth. But as you can tell, what the world’s people teach doesn’t always work out so well when put into practice.

Very few understand this secret of complete freedom and spiritual liberation. If you are going to be free, you can’t pick and choose what you are going to be free from. If you want to be free, completely and totally, you have to choose to be free of the attachment to things working out exactly as you planned, as well. This is not say that you do not try to be successful, it only means that you are not attached to success or failure.

We need to remember that there are a number of factors that we can control in regards to experiencing success in line with reality. We can improve our knowledge about certain topics. We can maintain a positive attitude and be receptive to bursts of intuition that will quicken our progress. We can ask other people who have been successful and learn from them. All of these will help us, and we are not alone. Yet, we do have to be discriminative in the process.

Changing Your Interaction With Reality

Reality is like a mirror. It reflects what you put in front of it. Put thoughts or ideologies of one kind or another in front of it, and it will give you a reason to believe those thoughts and ideologies are true.  Change those thoughts and ideologies and the experience will change. Remember, reality by itself is just reality. Reality plus a certain thought or idea, becomes that thought.  The equations looks like this…

Reality (or consciousness) + nothing (no conditioning) = Reality

Reality (or consciousness) + a certain idea = that idea

From a mystical level, to truly experience reality requires a complete and total relinquishment of conceptualization. Now you might think that if you don’t have concepts, you won’t be able to experience anything or that nothing would exist. Well, a rock can experience its rockness, and can be broken, and made wet, and made hot, etc. But it’s still just a rock. Calling it a rock, doesn’t change its reality. The rock doesn’t need the concept of broken, wet, or hot, to experience those things. Just like you don’t need the words, love, joy, or delight when you experience beautiful music to be moved by the music.

The mind is just the mind. A pile of thoughts and concepts. We are used to identifying with this mind and so we have a hard time imagining anything else. But the sooner you can pull away from being dependent on concepts, you will experience a free world of existence being that is beautiful and wholesome (without having to conceptualize beauty or wholeness). You have experienced it before, and the next time you do, and you are alert, you will remember all the other times you experienced the beauty of freedom from concepts as well.

While you contemplate the above passage until you fully understand it, consider the following information to help you work with the reality in which you find yourself.

You can change the way you interact with reality to get positive results. The following points below will assist in this regard.

1. Lighten up.
2. Don’t take your self so seriously.
3. Let go of your attachment to how you think things should be.
4. Pay attention to the way things are, and make peace with that.

Once you can do those four things, you are in an open and free space to make choices.

By “Lighten Up” I mean to quit making everything so heavy and important. (Within reason of course).  Pulling from the examples above: If your spouse doesn’t like your parents, so what? Do you and your spouse get along and love each other? If so, great. If not, then deal with that and don’t project that prime problem on a peripheral problem.

Did you get angry the other day, when someone insulted you? So what? That’s normal. Now if you continue to dwell, then that’s a problem, and might get in the way of your spiritual progress. Why? Because you become what you dwell on. Dwell on the divine, not anger. Yet if anger arises, let it pass like a cloud before the sun.

Do you consider your self a spiritual person, but still really enjoy sex? Well, you are a spiritual being having a human experience. If your sex life doesn’t border on perversion, it’s not going to get in the way of your progress.  So have fun!

By “Don’t Take Your Self So Seriously”, I mean that in the overall scheme of things you are not really that important. After you’re dead, no one is really going to think about you all that much. And that’s good, because you will have moved on to another plane, and you don’t need to think about them either, because you’ve got other things to do!

Does the thought bother you that you aren’t that important? If so, you’ve got some things to work on. Lahiri Mahasaya, a great spiritual teacher, once said, “I am nothing and no one.” He went on to express by holding that idea, one can quickly reach liberation.

Just because you are nothing important, doesn’t mean there isn’t a work of the divine consciousness coming through. You are not important, but the expression of the divine is the only thing that is important.

By “Let Go of Your Attachment to how you Think Things Should Be”, I am continuing the theme, that you need to pay attention to what is in reality, and not how you expect things to go.  Often, they will go your way.  And as you get clearer, through your meditation, they will most definitely go your way more often. Not because you are willing something to occur, but because you are clear and receptive and so the ideas that are generated in your mind are more divinely inspired and in line with the natural trends of life.

By “Pay Attention to the Way Things Are and Make Peace With That” I am implying that your judgment about the goodness or badness of situation doesn’t really help matters. If something is occurring and you can’t get out of the situation or don’t know an immediate way to change it, be still. Be at peace.  Let it pass, or wait for an inspiration that will help solve the dilemma. But make sure that as you are experiencing the situation, you are at peace.  Judgment, anxiety, and denying reality only muck up the divine radio signal that’s coming your way.

Remember, this all really boils down to accepting consequences. If you want to be enlightened and 90% of the enlightenment teachers in the world say it’s valuable to meditate to experience that, then you need to weigh the consequences of either meditating regularly or not. If you want to live a healthy long life, and 90% of the people who are educated in this realm recommend regular exercise, a nutritious diet, and a stress management program, then you need to weight the consequences of either following or not following this advice. Whatever you decide on, accept the possible consequences, and then move on.

What ever you do in life, don’t linger. No circumstances can ever be repeated. The river of the dead looks back to the past and holds to what could have or should have been. The river of life moves ever onward. Merge with the river of life.

Sincerely, Ryan Kurczak 2010

Vasistha’s Yoga VI.1:40 – Proper Worship

How do we give our full attention to our spiritual path and the divine? It is not just in meditation and prayer. It is in everything that we do and experience.  The following excerpt from Vasistha’s Yoga illustrates this point.

Whatever you do and whenever you do it (or refrain from doing it) — all that is worship of the Lord who is pure consciousness.  By regarding all that as worship of the self who is the Lord –he is delighted.

Likes and dislikes, attractions and aversion are not found in the self independent of its essential nature; they are mere words. Even the concepts indicated by words  like ‘sovereignty’, ‘poverty’, ‘pleasure’, ‘pain’, ‘one’s own’, and ‘others’, are in fact worship of the self, for the conceiving intelligence is the self. Knowledge of the cosmic being alone is proper worship of the cosmic being.

It is that self or cosmic consciousness alone which is indicated by expressions like ‘this world’. Oh, what a mysterious wonder it is that the self which is pure consciousness or intelligence somehow seems to forget its own nature and comes to regard itself as the jiva (the individual). In fact, in that cosmic being, which is the reality in everything, there is not even the division into worshiper, worship and worshiped. It is impossible to describe that cosmic being which supports the entire universe without division; it is impossible to teach another concerning it. And, we do not consider them worthy of being taught by us, who consider that god is limited by time and space. Hence, abandoning all such limited concepts, abandoning even the division between worshiper and the worshiped (Lord), worship the self by the self. Be at peace, pure, free from cravings. Consider that all your experiences and expressions are the worship of the self.